First of all, is Elopement Right For You?

Not every bride wants to elope. Some are dead set on a big wedding & that’s perfectly fine! There’s a ton of determining factors at play when planning a wedding, so if you find yourself on the fence, check out this video to help you decide whether an elopement might be right for you.

Our original plan was to elope via courthouse nuptials, but I couldn’t see myself making things official against the backdrop of a courthouse office, so our special day evolved into a beach-elopement-small-wedding.

In a nutshell, a combo of living in Los Angeles, Amazon Prime & our desire to keep our wedding small & simple kept it all at $3,700! (including my groom’s airfare & our Air BnB) It’s a celebration we planned in just 2 months but will remember for more than 2 lifetimes.

(We’ll use the money we saved here for our Hawai’i & Greece weddings - what can we say? International love is worldwide affair).

Create a Plan By Listing Your Top Priorities

Ever heard of the Maya Angelou quote “...people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”? That was the key mantra in all my wedding planning decision making.

When I found myself getting too caught up in concerns like wedding colors or “do we need favors?”, I remembered: people will only remember how they felt during the wedding. They won’t remember the length of my veil & they won’t be impressed by my fancy programs.

Better to focus my energy on what matters. With that in mind, we decided to prioritize:

Script
Photography & Videography to capture our ceremony
Affordability
Simplicity
Intimacy

And then put a personalized stamp on everything to make it our own.

Determine Non-Negotiables (even if seemingly “shallow”)

Us in our traditional Hawaiian haku & Maile lei

Whether it’s princess-cut diamond bling, a 16-person bridal party or a chocolate fountain, brides (and occasionally grooms) have their must-have list of elements they’ve envisioned since childhood. Honor those non-negotiables & put it under your “worth the splurge” column or it’ll forever eat at you like a bad craving that you didn’t satisfy!

Mines included:

Mermaid-style dress
Traditional Hawaiian Haku & Maile lei
Photography & Videography

Then, my personal touches included:

Clink-while-you-drink glasses & butter knives
“Then & Now” Video
Pillars of Marriage wooden signs
Rose Toss
Wedding Hashtag (because it’s 2019)

My groom was overseas & I was also dealing with a few pretty huge transitional moments in my life (cue “The Saturn Return”) simultaneously. This was all the more reason to keep everything as simple as possible.

First things first, mundane but important logistics:

Public Marriage License in California: $91

Marriage License Copies: $15/copy (You need to request this in California. Not automatically issued.)

Document Translation (if needed): approx $45 (I have an international hubby. His passport in this case sufficed because it included Latin characters)

Officiant: Free, thanks to https://theamm.org (but can be around $75 if you hire someone)

Witness: Free. All you need is a friend or family member. (This is a $20 fee you can easily eliminate)

Finally, let’s roll out these top 20 tips!

Invitations

Tip #1: Skip the printouts. Digital only.

Just like business cards are an outdated system, so are printed wedding invites & save the dates. We used withjoy.com. It allowed us to create our story, countdown, event info, FAQ’s, photo gallery, manage RSVP list & all subsequent communications (email reminders, etc).

Photography/Videography

Tip #2: Tap into your friend and family network.

Not only might they give you a better rate, but you also give them work. (Be careful to choose someone reliable who will not bank on the fact that you’ll forgive them if they somehow mess it up or flake).

For the reception, we had our friends & family cover photography by having a photo scavenger hunt (insert photo below). This helped encourage photos in a fun, engaging way. We didn’t care as much about the reception being covered because it was more of an informal brunch celebration just for everyone to have a good time. Our focus was the ceremony.

Compare to Industry Average: $1,150 - $3,000

Source: https://www.weddingwire.com/cost/wedding-photographer

Tip #3: HUGE SHOUTOUT to LinkedIn ProFinder

I cannot recommend this enough! Find reputable professionals in your area who are willing to work with you on budget and goals for the shoot. This can be pulled off especially well in cities like Los Angeles where many professionals are building their portfolios & willing to work with you on budget while still delivering amazing quality.

I used LinkedIn ProFinder to find our videographer & I could not be happier with how everything came out! Check out our ceremony video HERE.

Compare to Industry Average: $1,200 - $1,500

Source: https://www.thumbtack.com/p/wedding-videography-prices

Tip #4: Don’t rule out craigslist

Can’t thank our photographer Jenny Renee enough for shooting our engagement shoot. At the time she was also adding to her portfolio & posted her services on Craigslist.

Compare to Industry Average: $200 - $500/hr for engagement photos; $200 - $360/hr for boudoir photos

Source: https://fash.com/costs/engagement-photography-prices

Venues

Tip #5: Remember, the best things in life are free

We had our ceremony on the beach. We both grew up by the water, we met by the water & now we tied our lives together by the water. It was the most appropriate venue for us - the icing on the cake is that it was completely free.

(Do check beach regulations beforehand. Depending on attendance size & whether you’re bringing chairs, etc, you may have to get a permit on some beaches).

Tip #6: Tap into apartment common spaces

Our reception venue was also free. We took advantage of my condo’s clubroom, which was free to rent. Ask friends or family who live in condos to see if you can use their space. If not, use sites like peerspace.com, which is like the Air BnB of venue spaces, to find yourself an affordable venue.

Catering

Tip #7: Shop around and price compare for catering

Fun fact: There’s a lot of businesses vying for business. After shopping around (& taking advantage of the fact that you CAN do this in LA), I priced custom menus out at a few different places like:

Cater2Me

EZ Cater

We ultimately decided to stay local & choose Whole Foods (they were willing to work with us on budget) & Rodini Park for our main hot food catering needs. Free pick-up, 5 mins from our reception venue.

This came out to (for 30 people):

Whole Foods: Hot bar items $175 (scrambled eggs, bacon & waffles)

Rodini Park: $120 (baklava cheesecakes)

Whole Foods/Trader Joe’s/Sprouts: all other food items including beverages, alcohol, groceries like yogurt, pastries, fruit, etc.

Dollar Tree: Flatware, cups, plates, napkins

Bed Bath & Beyond: champagne glasses (bought with coupons)

Amazon Prime: butter spreaders

Total was approximately: $425.00 for brunch

(It helped of course that it was brunch, a significantly lighter meal than dinner)

Tip #8: No one cares about the flatware

No one is going to be blown away by your plates or cutlery. The focus will be on the food. Don’t be afraid of generic flatware or stemware & allocate your money towards the food & drank going on that basic plate.

You can also ask your caterer if they’ll provide utensils, napkins & plates to eliminate that cost.

Tip #9: Don’t be afraid to buy things you can use for later

If you’re DIY-ing your reception, it makes sense to buy something like a coffee maker that you can use long after the wedding is over. It’s $17.95 for a caddy at Starbucks. We had our own coffee maker, but you can purchase a 12-cup coffee maker on Amazon Prime for $16, so already it pays for itself.

As any coffee-addict from Hawai’i would, I already had a reserve of Kona coffee beans, so all I had to do was buy creamer & coffee cups. (Sugar packets & stirrers I got from my local coffee shops. My mom would not want me to say that but too bad, that’s what I did!)

Deco:

Tip #10: Determine what can be DIY

Devi Fabian Ndrejaj wedding brunch reception clubroom.JPG

I was fortunate that my building’s club room is already well-decorated & furnished so I didn’t spend any money on sprucing that up.

If you need to decorate, keep in mind that simplicity goes a long way. You probably just need centerpieces for each table, like small glass jars filled with marbles, water & candles or flowers. You can skip unnecessary knick knacks like table numbers or place cards.

Other DIY Items:

Signs (clink-while-you-drink sign, photo scavenger hunt sign, welcome wedding signs)
Photobooth props (you can get free templates online to print at home)
Ceremony & Reception programs
“Then & Now” video for our reception, which I made on iMovie

Tip #11: Dollar Tree & Daiso is where it’s at for extra-touches

Dollar Tree: Tulle for wedding ceremony altar posts (we didn’t end up using this, but it was only $1)

Daiso: “Just Married” sign for Photobooth backdrop - $1.50

Tip #12: Use Your facebook Community

I belong to a “Buy Nothing” group on Facebook & also frequently checked Facebook Marketplace for wedding items. Other brides often sell their wedding items at discount & you certainly can too once your nuptials are over.

Jewelry box for the rings, courtesy of my neighborhood’s “Buy Nothing” Facebook group. And yes, rubber banded, because I had my very active 6-year old nephew carrying that precious cargo.

From the “Buy Nothing” Group I received:

Heart shaped ring box
Selfie stick
“Bride to Be” banner
Bride one-piece swimsuit

Tip #13: Tap into the talents of your friends & family

In addition to being very smart, my dad is also very handy. For our wedding welcome sign & my bridesmaids “pillars of marriage” wooden signs, my dad sized & cut wood at Home Depot. Then, one of my girlfriends chalk-painted the signs. We bought a sheet of wood for a specific finish that we wanted, but you can get free scrap wood at Home Depot in their cull wood lumber yard area.

Most Home Depot locations have a cull wood section in their lumber department. Wood is either really discounted and often certain scraps are free. If you don’t mind sand-papering unfinished wood, you’re welcome to help yourself to the free pile.

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Music/Entertainment

Tip #14: Spotify playlists

Most likely you have friend(s) with Spotify accounts, if you don’t have one yourself (like me). Music playlists are hardly a task your friends will mind contributing to, so you really don’t need to hire a DJ these days.

We eliminated our need for any music or video equipment rentals. I borrowed my friend’s speakers for the beach ceremony & for the “Then & Now” video we played in the clubroom during our reception, the TV had A/V capabilities so I just needed my laptop & a connector.

Wardrobe

Tip #15: Scour etsy & Amazon Prime

A combo of Etsy & Amazon Prime has been such an asset.

I bought my wedding dress, veil, rose petal sachet bags & flower girl basket on Amazon Prime.

We got our rings, ring engravement & my beach sandals on Etsy. Etsy will often have items that go on sale, so if you have a few weeks to decide on what you want to buy, for the time being just “favorite” items & Etsy will email you to notify you if your item has been put on a limited sale.

Compare to industry average: $1,631, including alterations, for the wedding dress alone

Source: https://www.theknot.com/content/average-cost-of-wedding-dress

Beauty

I’ve been an actor on countless shoots, headshot sessions, etc & yet no artist has ever made my face look the way I like to look. I’m used to the way I look when I do my own make-up & I wanted to recognize myself on my wedding day by doing my own make-up.

Tip #16: Don’t be afraid to do your own hair, make-up & nails

Did a test run on my hair & make-up after watching some YouTube tutorials a few weeks before my wedding

That’s what YouTube tutorials are for. I watched a few, took the best recommendations & steps from each, compiled it into my own instructional list, then bought the necessary items. I’m not much of a make-up person in my daily life, so I did have to buy a few things, but all of that came out to wayyy below paying a make-up artist to make me look shitty.

I’ve also never been the mani/pedi type (I think I’ve gotten 3 in my entire life). My thought is, there’s better things to focus on than my nails (how my ass looks in my dress, for example).
Hair & Make-up industry average: $300 (depending on many contributing factors)

Source: https://www.weddingwire.com/cost/wedding-hair-and-makeup

Tip #17: Use Groupon & Remember the 3 R’s

Do your research, but don’t be afraid to use Groupon. I used it for my lash extensions. If it’s your first time getting lash extensions, proceed with caution because you don’t know how your eyes will react. You can always do a trial run a month prior. 1) Research, 2) Read Reviews & 3) Get Recommendations is key.

Flowers

Tip #18: If you’re in a big city, visit the Flower Market or grocery store

Entrance fees are $1/person to the LA Flower market if you don’t have an annual membership. Bring cash to avoid taxes on credit card transactions.

Price examples are as follows:

2 dozen Roses: $12
Rose petals: $4 buckets
Babies breath bouquets: $2.75 each
2 dozen Carnations: $6
Leaf bunch: $4.50

I ended up spending $98 in total on all my flowers, including my husband’s special-ordered maile lei.

You can also go to your local grocery store like Trader Joe’s if your city does not have a dedicated flower market. Pick a color scheme & purchase cheap bouquets that fall in line with your colors.

Compare to industry average: 8% of overall budget. So if my budget was around $3,000 then flowers clock in at $240.

Source: https://www.theknot.com/content/how-much-should-i-budget-for-wedding-flowers

Tip #19: Let Your Friendship Blossom

Entrust trustworthy & talented friends to help do your floral bidding. My small beach wedding didn’t require much, so this model worked.

One of my best friends did my Hawaiian haku lei, another did my bride & bridesmaids bouquets. Women often like flowers & know what to do with them. Let them do their thing.

Tip #20: Narrow down the big picture

I personally love playing process of elimination with almost everything I do & here was no exception. I made a list so I could paint the big picture of what our wedding could & would be. From there, I narrowed it down. Things like a bridal shower, bachelorette party, determining wedding colors, sending out mailed invitations - all of that went to the chopping block. This will not only save you money, but will save your sanity.

Without having to worry about something like which shade of red I wanted everything to be, I had time to focus on things that really mattered to me, like my vows. And, as it turns out, I didn’t really need something like a bachelorette party. For me, that was more societal protocol than something I personally needed.

Takeaways

Make it about the non-tangibles.

Make lists of things that are non-negotiable must-haves, things that could be DIY & other elements that are personalized that make your wedding your own.

Know what to splurge on (for us, videography with drone), what symbolism to give meaning to (red roses to represent my husband’s country of Albania, maile and haku leis for Hawai’i, bakalava cheesecake wedding cake as a nod to where we met) & let the rest fall into place.

Remember that even small costs adds up, so you don’t need to buy everything you think of.

People like weddings & want to help. Allow them to do it! Chances are, there will be a day when you can return the favor :)

Awesome compare tool for price ranges, “2019 Wedding Report”

Devi Fabian drone shot wedding elopement beach.JPG

Here's the Top 20 Tips to Save Big on Your Wedding or Elopement